Re Vamping

Fall so often Am I doing this right I cant really control How I feel My body isnt mine anymore Cautious Scared They say stay calm Just relax But how When I dont know Trying not to think to hard But the shakes have me scared Not sure if I made a different decision Would I be here They say whats meant to be will be But how do you know whats Really meant for me Blinded eyes could see So much on my mind Dont have time for naysayers Fake love And ones who dont really care Trust I have my own scares So they fall often Try to catch them Cause its tiring Waiting for the rain so I can sit in it Its easier that way So much going on Just wanna run away Go astray Dont have those options So I just sit And wait for the next Good moment And sit in it For as long as it last

Sitting in it Nothing last forever That is a fact Scrambled like eggs Nothing is in tack Trying to get it right But dont know where to go Beyond lost Never know Whats missing Him Her Them They Everyone is in attendance Understanding What there place was Nothing last forever But whos fault If any Maybe I shoulda Lived longer in those moments Instead of trying To get to the next one Did I drive myself into this worry Distress A mess But I gotta keep it together Cant let em see me sweat Gonna cause myself more stress Oh well

Long warm night Hella laughs No worries Drinks pouring Smoke of all kinds flowing Where is the time going Dont know whos showing up Words being thrown outta love Cards spread across the table First hand dont bid its self Speak on whats in your hand Food on demand Love never ending Waiting to catch a glimpse Before you know Its all ended No worries cause there is tomorrow Until it turns into yesterday Then a thing of the past Now its a memory That I wish I could got back to So distant that the feeling is Unfamiliar Trying to feel it is quite Peculiar

Have you ever Felt so much That words wouldn't Even matter They do have some Words that can help But non that can Truly describe Joy Exuberant Annoyed because Im trying Careless Whispers The loudest silence Closed eyes With the clearest vision Open heart surgery With no incision Do opposites really attract Thoughts like jumble mumble Trying to be nimble But ion fuck with Jack By any means

In a world where upside Seems right side up Nothing is slow Everything is abrupt They say Im lucky But whats really luck Stuck Like Chucking the deuces Thought I knew but cant find the Nuance Sad for thee But cant let one see Upset for thou But not my problem now I step back I take my bow But I can still Love on me Watch the leaves fall before Autumn Feel the sun blaze In the fall All in all When can try to figure it out But whats really the pause

Long nights Cold sweats Dont wanna live sometimes When I get the shaking They start mistaking Cant sleep Sometimes I weep myself there The thought of hurting one of three Shit to hurt any aint cool with me Knowing that I am the main cause Either way I know the love is pure Hopefully I make it through' Without the shakes Hopefully he will be fine And healthy Praying to give them both a break From my issues A nice night Without fright or question Waiting patiently Trying to figure out this lesson Maybe its for life Maybe its not one of lifes test Just let me bring him home before The shakes return 

Grand Rising as she would say Slowly getting through my day Nothing is easy Noticing thats this adulting thing No reason to complain But why does it feel like im going beyond insane Yet normal Kinda like it I guess Noticing that normal dont fit me well Guess thats why my head dont swell Cause where Im at is an impossible place For one to reach Even if your near me You will never seek what I seek' And a bitch anit even at her peak Still command attention when I Iterate See there are ones that I can still Irritate From so far away When no thought has crossed My any part of my anatomy So why you still mad at me Now its no one specifically Just know I know